By Dan Auty on Feb 13, 2019 03:58 am
Valentine's Day is nearly upon us, and for romantic movie fans, that means a chance to spend quality time with some great on-screen love stories. From Casablanca and Brief Encounter to When Harry Met Sally and Before Sunrise, the decades have delivered some incredible romantic movies that have made generations of viewers laugh, cry, and swoon. But for every great movie love story, there are countless bad ones. It takes a very special combination of great acting, writing, and on-screen chemistry to deliver a convincing on-screen romance, and if even one of these elements fails, then the results can be laughable and embarrassing. Sometimes a movie tries to emulate a past love story but with totally the wrong actors, and others, unconvincing love stories are shoehorned into a film for no other reason than its writers and directors think they should be there. And then there are those love stories that are doomed from the start, with ideas and characters that are so wrongly conceived or badly written that even the most charismatic actors can't make them work. So for those those among you who have had enough of great movies filled with beautiful stars falling hopelessly in love, and who want to see how filmmakers can get love stories very, very wrong, here are the worst movie love stories of all time...
12. Jurassic World (2015)
The romance between Jurassic World operations manager Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and dino-expert Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) is one of those annoying, utterly unconvincing movie relationships that exists purely because it's expected in this sort of film. It's established early on that the pair previously went on a bad date, and that she basically can't stand him. They spend the next two hours either arguing or trying to avoid being eaten by dinosaurs. But because these are attractive and famous stars in a big Hollywood movie, they have to inexplicably fall in love at the end.
11. Spider-Man 3 (2006)
The first two of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man movies did a reasonable job of developing the romance between Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) and Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) by largely keeping them apart. But the third movie turns their love story into a bad soap opera and presents them as a mismatched couple who don't seem particularly happy about being together. Peter dismisses her acting career and lusts after Gwen Stacy, while MJ lies to him about being fired from her show and kisses her ex Harry in front of him. A sweet moment in a web hammock is not enough to redeemed this unromantic nonsense.
10. The Mummy (2017)
As in Jurassic World, the main "romance" between Tom Cruise and Annabelle Wallis in The Mummy only exists because for some reason we can't have a Hollywood action movie where the female lead doesn't fall hopelessly in love with the male hero. In this case it's even worse--Cruise's character is an annoying, cowardly idiot and the fact that Cruise looks great for 55 still can't conceal the 22-year age gap between the pair. Despite an attempt to give them a witty, screwball comedy-style banter, the pair have absolutely no chemistry. Admittedly, everything was terrible about this movie, but that's still no excuse.
9. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
There's much to admire about Luc Besson's space epic--the incredible visuals, the thrilling action, the weird comedy--but the love story is not one of them. Dane Dehaan and Cara Delevingne play Valerian and Laureline, futuristic government operatives who not only work together but are a loved-up couple--maybe. To be honest, for most of the movie it's not really clear exactly what their relationship is supposed to be. At times they seem like teen lovers, besotted with one another. Other times, Valerian is desperate and pushy, while Laureline refuses to acknowledge his feelings. Their flirtatious banter sounds like it has been fed several times through Google translate, and what is supposed to be a powerful, romantic climax for their characters falls utterly flat. As an imaginative space adventure movie, Valerian is great fun. As an intergalactic love story, it's a total dud.
8. The Ugly Truth (2009)
While Gerard Butler exudes a certain burly charisma as the star of brainless action movies, a romantic leading man he is not. Nevertheless, for a while Butler was making inroads into the world of rom coms, and The Ugly Truth teams him up with genre veteran Katherine Heigl (Knocked-Up, 27 Dresses) for the worst of a bad bunch. Not only is it one of those movies which forces a totally mismatched couple together via some ridiculous plot device, the movie doubles down by making both of them utterly unlikeable. Butler is a crass, lewd, chauvinistic TV host, while Heigl is his whining, uptight, micro-managing producer. There is absolutely nothing in either character to suggest they would remotely tolerate each other outside of work, let alone fall in love, but that's Hollywood for you.
7. Beauty & The Beast (1991/2017)
The love story of Beauty & The Beast is a such a fairy tale classic that it's easy to forget how dark and messed up it really is. Let's face it, the plot of both the 1991 animated movie and the 2017 live-action remake focuses on a young girl kept prisoner by a terrifying monster, who is desperate to find a partner before an ancient curse causes him to remain as a beast forever. She does eventually fall in love with him, and it has been argued that this is a result of Stockholm Syndrome, the real-life condition in which kidnap victims fall for their abductors. Emma Watson, who plays Belle in the 2017 movie, even addressed this in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, admitting that it was "something [she] really grappled with."
6. Hottie and the Nottie (2008)
It's hard to know where to start with this deliriously terrible rom com, which is completely devoid of both rom and com and delivers one of the worst love triangles ever committed to film. Paris Hilton's irritating perfect Cristabel won't date moping loser Nate (Joel David Moore) until she also finds a boyfriend for her horrifically ugly best pal June (Christine Lakin). Of course, June is really a hottie herself, who just needed a quick makeover to reveal her true beauty, and inevitably ends up falling for Nate. Remember kids, it's what's on the outside that truly counts.
5/4. Love Actually (2003)
Richard Curtis's romantic anthology features two absolutely terrible love stories--both bad in different ways. In one, pre-Walking Dead Andrew Lincoln lusts creepily after his best friend's girlfriend (Keira Knightley) and attempts to lure her away by standing on her doorstep with a series of signs that declare his true feelings. Sensibly she rejects him. In a 2017 interview with Vanity Fair, Lincoln admitted that he thought his character was a "creepy stalker." The movie's other bad love story is less uncomfortable, but no less stupid. This is the one in which Colin Firth discovers that his girlfriend is having an affair with his brother, so he ends up falling for his Portuguese housekeeper (Lucia Moniz). Never mind the fact that he only just met her and neither of them speak a word of each other's language, it's enough for him to propose. And of course, it's yet another example of a lowly serving girl falling for her rich employer--only in this case she can't even talk back to him. Bleeugh.
3. Passengers (2017)
This recent sci-fi drama delivered one of the creepiest "love" stories of recent years. Chris Pratt plays an engineer on a colonisation ship who is mistakenly woken early from his 240-year sleep. With 90 years to go and no way to return to hibernation, Jim finds himself falling for one of the other sleeping passengers, a woman called Aurora (Jennifer Lawrence). What happens next is definitely not cool: Jim deliberately wakes Aurora up and pretends there has been another malfunction, and then uses the information about her life that he has taken from her on-board profile to seduce her. But even though Jim has essentially condemned Aurora to death on board the ship with him, the film still wants us to be moved by the love story and feel sorry for Jim when Aurora finds out the truth and--surprise!--isn't very impressed by it.
2. Gigli (2003)
Gigli is easily the most reviled movie in the filmographies of both Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, but to be fair, even the greatest screen actors would have had trouble injecting a hint of romance into this tale of a mobster who kidnaps a mentally challenged kid and ends up falling in love with a lesbian hitwoman. Famously, J-Lo and Affleck started a relationship while making the film--presumably in an attempt to numb the pain of having to go to the set each day. The soppy, unbelievable romance is totally at odds with the tasteless comedy and bloody violence elsewhere, and the movie rightfully swept the Razzies in 2004.
1. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)
The love story between Anakin and Padme is a crucial part of the Star Wars prequels, but it really needed someone other than George Lucas to write it. Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman struggle to generate any chemistry as the star-crossed lovers, and are forced to deliver some of the worst romantic dialogue imaginable ("When I'm around you, my mind is no longer my own"). We are never once given a clue as to why Padme falls for this petulant, immature, sulking fool, and the scenes in which they romp around Naboo are more like a parody of a bad teen romance than a crucial moment in this beloved Saga. Just the worst.
By Mat Elfring on Feb 13, 2019 12:52 am
No new matches for WWE's PPV, Elimination Chamber, were announced on the February 12 episode of Smackdown, which is both good and bad. It would have been nice to see the women or the men's midcard get a spot on the show, but this also means there is less of a chance of a dumb squash match happening. Regardless, there was won major change to the show, and that was for the main event. Mustafa Ali was not cleared by WWE doctor's to compete in the Elimination Chamber match after an injury at the hands of Randy Orton. Replacing him is New Day member Kofi Kingston. Our prediction for that match has been updated below. We're on the Road to Wrestlemania, and the last PPV that actually matters before it--sorry Fastlane--is Elimination Chamber. Raw's card has been finalized for the show, and Smackdown's seems to be as well, and it's shaping up to be a pretty stacked event. As of this writing, there are seven matches on the card, six of which are championship matches. This will be a much shorter show than last month's Royal Rumble. Elimination Chamber Start Time:- 4 PM PT
- 6 PM C
- 7 PM ET
- 12 AM GMT (February 18)
One of the biggest things about this show is that the first-ever Women's Tag Team Champions will be crowned. This moment will happen after a 6-tag team Elimination Chamber match. Duos from both Raw and Smackdown will compete in this event, as it will be a cross-brand championship. If you're staying up-to-date with WWE programming, then you probably have a good idea of who is going to win. There is one other Elimination Chamber match that night as Daniel Bryan defends his title against Mustafa Ali, Jeff Hardy, Samoa Joe, Randy Orton, and AJ Styles. It will be the perfect way to close out the show. This year's event comes to PPV and the WWE Network on Sunday, February 17. And the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas will host it. Like all PPVs, there will be a Kickoff Show beginning one hour prior. Elimination Match Card:- Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Akira Tozawa (Cruiserweight Championship)
- Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush vs. Finn Bálor (Handicap Match for the Intercontinental Championship)
- The Miz & Shane McMahon (c) vs. The Usos (Smackdown Tag Team Championship)
- Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Ruby Riott (Raw Women's Championship)
- Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin
- Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose vs. Naomi & Carmella vs. Nia Jax & Tamina vs. Liv Morgan & Sarah Logan vs. The Iiconics (Elimination Chamber for the Women's Tag Team Championship)
- "The New" Daniel Bryan (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mustafa Ali vs. Randy Orton vs. Samoa Joe (Elimination Chamber for the WWE Championship)
Make sure to come back to GameSpot on Sunday, February 17 for live coverage and a review of the show.
Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Akira Tozawa
(Cruiserweight Championship) More than likely, this match will open up Elimination Chamber or be on the Kickoff Show, but it will--without a doubt--be a dynamite competition between these two. Time after time, the cruiserweight matches have been some of the best matches on the card. I've been incorrectly predicting Murphy's loss of the Cruiserweight Championship for a while now, and this time, he's going to finally give up that title. I'll be right this time. I swear. Prediction: Akira Tozawa wins
Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush vs. Finn Bálor
(Handicap Match for the Intercontinental Championship) The storyline I can't stand pushes forward, like an empty beer bottle rolling down a dirty city street at 2 AM. I'm really enjoying Lio Rush and I'm a fan of Finn Balor, but Bobby Lashley is boring to me, and his current character doesn't seem to fit his abilities. In the grand scheme of things, this is a last stand for Balor. He needs a major accomplishment in WWE. The fans are behind him but Balor keeps getting the short end of the stick. Giving him the IC Championship would be great course correction for him right now, until Lesnar leaves town and we can have regular Universal Championship matches. Prediction: Finn Balor wins
The Miz & Shane McMahon (c) vs. The Usos
(Smackdown Tag Team Championship) Smackdown's tag division has been in a bit of a rough spot as of late. One half of the Bludgeon Brothers is out, The Bar has been champions for a while, Sanity has been missing, and New Day and Usos had a long time rivalry. Miz and Shane are supposed to be a nice refresher for the once dominant division, but it's felt a bit lackluster. There needs to be some restructuring and some new teams here to breathe new life into Smackdown (Heavy Machinery please). That being said, The Usos should win the titles this Sunday and lead the way into Wrestlemania. Prediction: The Usos win
Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin
Sometimes, you can have two talented performers in a storyline that does nothing for you. Simply put, Strowman and Corbin in a feud together is doing nothing for me, and both of them are better than this. More than likely, it's going to be another round of Strowman decimating Corbin in what will ultimately be a short, filler match. Prediction: Braun Strowman wins
Elimination Chamber for the Women's Tag Team Championship
(Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose vs. Naomi & Carmella vs. Nia Jax & Tamina vs. Liv Morgan & Sarah Logan vs. The Iiconics) WWE fans have been wanting a women's tag team title for a while, and thankfully, this will be a cross-brand belt. Some of the pairings in this match--like Naomi and Carmella--are forced and nothing but cannon-fodder. However, there are some real dynamite teams--like The Iiconics or Riott Squad. However we feel about all these teams involved in the match, this Elimination Chamber was 100% set up for Sasha Banks and Bayley to win. Sure, there's a chance it could go to another team, but this just feels right for the two Horsewomen. Prediction: Sasha Banks & Bayley win
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Ruby Riott
(Raw Women's Championship) Are you ready to hear the most alliteration from the commentary team than you've ever heard before? Well, you better get ready for it. If I don't hear Corey Graves say something like, "Ronda Rousey rowdies Ruby Riott ruefully," then I'm done. The only way to make this even better is if it was special guest reffed by Roman Reigns or Rhea Ripley. Why am I avoiding talking about the actual match or the lead up to it? Well because Ruby Riott--whom I love and think should be in the title picture--has zero chance of winning this. Ronda Rousey is going to face Becky Lynch at Wrestlemania (and probably Charlotte as well, as Rousey/Flair is currently booked), and Rousey needs to be champion, so she can get her first loss to Lynch. Prediction: Ronda Rousey wins
Elimination Chamber For WWE Championship
("The New" Daniel Bryan (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton vs. Samoa Joe) If you saw the February 12 episode of Smackdown, then you witnessed Kofi Kingston put on one hell of a display in the gauntlet match, lasting nearly an hour in the ring. I highly recommend you check it out, as it is one of Kingston's best performances in his long tenure in WWE. Because of this match, though, I'm having new thoughts about the Elimination Chamber match. I can really see Kingston winning this, and after his performance, I'd love for him to have a title run. I could see Wrestlemania as a Bryan vs. Kingston, with New Day and Team Fickle (With Harper joining Bryan and Rowan) at ringside. His work in that match made me a believer, but I think it's all about how he enters the match this Sunday. If he looks bruised and battered, he'll end up losing in a blaze of glory. However, if he seems fine, I think he's actually got this. And if Kingston isn't winning, Bryan will. I'm actually really into the idea now of Bryan vs. Kingston at Wrestlemania. Prediction: If Kingston comes to the ring hurt, Bryan wins. If Kingston comes to the ring looking ok, he wins. Original prediction below: ("The New" Daniel Bryan (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mustafa Ali vs. Randy Orton vs. Samoa Joe) Everything about the booking of this match is near-perfection. There are WWE veterans, indie legends, and a WWE newcomer who is making waves on Smackdown. If this match were taking place in a post-Wrestlemania world, it could be anyone's match. But we have to keep in mind that the biggest WWE PPV of the year is coming very soon. Because of this, Bryan seems like the most-likely candidate to be in a major match at Wrestlemania. Sure, Styles, Joe, or Orton could also be in this position, but Bryan has been on such a hot streak as champion, that I don't see it going any other way. Prediction: Daniel Bryan wins
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